Script-writing: breaking the story and the preliminary beat sheet :: EPISODE [HOPE AND FEAR] :: Janet's Star Trek Voyager Site

JANET'S STAR TREK VOYAGER SITE

[HOPE AND FEAR] : BEHIND-THE-SCENES

Script-writing: breaking the story and the preliminary beat sheet

screenshots, scans and soundfiles by Janet

Additional commentary by production staff is in this colour.

On 2nd February 1998 Jeri Taylor, Co-executive Producer, convenes what is known as the 'story-break' or 'beat session' in her office in the Hart Building on the Paramount Pictures site. This will be her last story-break session in her tenure with Star Trek. By 9.25 a.m. Voyager's other producers and writers have gathered. These meetings are bi-weekly, free forums where they discuss and contribute ideas to prosposed episodes, ultimately breaking them into 'beats' or high points. Usually a break session lasts a day or two. Afterwards the writer assigned to the episode will gain a literary map, a guide from the teaser to the tag. But the break session for [Hope and Fear], listed as production number 194, will prove to be untraditional - the casual atmosphere in the room belies some pressure as principal photography for the episode is scheduled to begin on February 26, exactly 24 days away. All pre-production preparation, including casting, set design and construction, costume design and fittings etc., must be completed before the day they shoot. The first day of prep, when department heads will begin planning their work schedules for the episode, is only 8 days away. And, of course, before all that, a story must be conceived and fleshed out.

Typical beat session in Jeri Taylor's office. Left to right: Bryan Fuller, Brannon Braga, Lisa Klink, Ken Biller, intern-of-the-moment Robert Doherty, Jeri Taylor. Star Trek's interns are usually assigned to the show for a period of 6-8 weeks.

As the meeting commences at 9:30 a.m., Co-executive Producer Brannon Braga hands out a four-page document to the room's occupants. At the top of the first page is written:

                     "UNTITLED FINAL EPISODE"
                      Preliminary Beat Sheet
                           Braga/Menosky
                              212198

The preliminary beat sheet is the first version of the above-mentioned literary map. It is provided by the writer(s) assigned to write the final teleplay - in this case, Brannon Braga and Joe Menosky. Lisa Klink, Executive Story Editor: "We usually get the preliminary beat sheet on the day before or the day of the actual break session. The assigned writer tries to sketch out at least the first couple of acts. He doesn't have to come up with a whole beat sheet independently. The preliminary is just something to get the meeting started, so that people have something to respond to."

The writers read the beat sheet. Then Gardner Goldsmith, an intern assigned to Voyager, writes the word "Teaser" (signifying the short scene that takes place before the opening credits) in the upper left corner of the shiny white "beat board" mounted on the wall (visible in the picture above). He waits to be told what to write next.

Jeri Taylor: "We didn't have any clear vision of what we wanted to do. It was a most unusual situation, something that had never really occurred." For the next 2 hours 20 minutes, there is a lot of discussion, further distillation of ideas that had been tossed around for a while. Lisa Klink: "(Before the meeting)We had talked about the story a lot! We had gone through lots and lots of different ideas and different feelings about what kind of note we wanted to end the season on. The preliminary beat sheet picked up one of those ideas and ran with it, while a number of entirely different storylines that we were considering didn't make it." But that one idea on the beat sheet is not quite gelling, possibly because the discarded ideas feel so established. One of them has been kicking around since the end of Voyager's third season. It concerns the mimetic aliens that the writers would ultimately use in the episode [Demon]. In the never-written story, the mimetic aliens somehow make it back to the Alpha Quadrant and arrive at Deep Space 9 to great fanfare. Jeri Taylor: "Everybody thinks that Voyager is home," she says, "and there are celebrations, and the see their loved ones, etcetera, etcetera. And it turns out to be an invasion or a dark plot of some kind. The more we discussed it, the more we thought that once they go home, even if it isn't really our characters, well, it undercuts whatever will happen when the real crew actually does get home. Which we do intend to have happen."

Brannon Braga's and Joe Menosky's preliminary beat sheet contains two important story germs:

The conflict between the characters of Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine.
The encoded message that Voyager received from Starfleet Command earlier, in the fourth-season episode [Hunters].

The beat sheet is not complete. It lists only a series of suggestions for the first two acts (of five). But at the moment no one is worried. Jeri Taylor: "We trust the chemistry that occurs in the room. Many, many, many times, probably more times than not, we've had a germ of an idea, with no clear vision of how it's going to be amplified into a story, and we get together in the room and the magic begins to happen. It may take several days; it may take ten minutes. You never know which idea that someone tosses out will lead you to something that leads to something else, and you start getting lightning in a bottle. And so we trusted that it would happen again."

The discussion begins and the writers discuss what there is so far: in the teaser, Janeway and Seven play a highly competitive game on the holodeck and we sense the conflict between them. In Act One, Janeway obsesses over the mysterious message that Voyager received from Starfleet months earlier which they still cannot decode. Finally, Janeway's intuition gives her the key and the message plays at last, informing the crew about a radical new but very risky method of space travel called slipstreaming. Seven is aware of this method and says that every Borg cube that ever attempted to use it was never heard from again. But Janeway decides to risk it anyway, thus increasing the tension between herself and Seven. In Act Two, the crew modifies Voyager according to Starfleet's specifications and seeks out the nearest slipstream, only to find that it is "some kind of intergalactic highway" on which ships are zooming past so fast that being on Voyager feels like "driving a horse and buggy" on the freeway. Thereafter there are several possibilities:

Seven of Nine has a seizure, with "weird optical effects", that causes her implants to "fritz out." The Doctor reports that Seven cannot survive in the slipstream. Seven is willing to forfeit her life to let the crew proceed, but Janeway says her mission is to save every member of her crew. Seven of Nine challenges her mentor and argues that Voyager should go on without her. The beat sheet comments: The problem with this approach is that it feels a little like [One] where the crew can't survive in a particular part of space.
Seven does not suffer any adverse side effects from the slipstream. Instead we are attacked by an indigenous alien ship. Turns out they don't like the fact that we've entered their highway. And a brief SPACE BATTLE takes place at slipstream speeds. (This is a sequence we discussed doing in "Scorpion." Remember the firefight in Borg subspace tunnels?) We manage to disable the alien vessel, and the aliens on board abandon ship. But we end up with -- to use our highway analogy -- a Porsche in our possession. And this twist builds to our original notion: Voyager can't stay in the slipstream any longer, so Seven of Nine suggests that we take the gleaming new alien ship and proceed. The conflict between Janeway and Seven ignites.... Eventually Seven of Nine does take command of the alien vessel. But something goes awry in Act Five. Captain Janeway and "Captain" Seven find themselves face-to-face in a dangerous situation. Ultimately, Janeway is proven right. She beats Seven at their "game" once again.

The group begins discussing the information provided on the beat sheet, starting with suggestions about the type of holodeck game that Janeway and Seven can play in the opening shots. Then the talk shifts to deeper into the story and whether Seven would actually take over an alien ship. Ken Biller and Brannon Braga agree that Seven now would think of herself as a better captain than Janeway. Then Braga confesses that even though he is the one who put it on the beat sheet, he doesn't really like the idea of Seven breaking off on her own. Ken Biller asks: "If Seven were to take this other ship, would any of the others join her?"

The topic shifts to the alien with the sleek ship. Who is this guy? Biller says, "What if this alien has a 'treasure map' of shortcuts through the galaxy that Janeway wants? What would he want in exchange? Information about Voyager?"
"No." Jeri Taylor speaks up abruptly. "Vengeance."
Everyone loves the idea.

Jeri Taylor: "Up to that point, the ideas about this character's motivation were very intellectual. They were in the head, and to me, that's dull. I think drama is built on emotion: You want to have characters who are feeling things, and you want them to allow the audience to feel something. Revenge is a visceral, emotional, hot-blooded kind of motivation that makes drama pop. That's what made Brannon and everyone else respond. So we began looking around for 'What was the revenge for?"'

During the lunchbreak Brannon Braga disappears for 4 hours. At 3:45 p.m. Sandra Sena, Jeri Taylor's assistant, calls each of the writers. He is back and the meeting reconvenes. He has 'been to the mountain': the alien should be extremely old, frail, and very intelligent, and he should be playing some sort of ruse on our crew."

Gardner Goldsmith resumes his place at the beat board and writes, "Hologrid: Game as written on beat sheet," under "Teaser" then "Act One."
Lisa Klink: "Is this message actually from Starfleet?"
Brannon Braga: "If it is, then maybe this is really a Starfleet ship."
Joe Menosky: "If the alien built it, it isn't Starfleet. And if it is Starfleet, he didn't build it."
Ken Biller suggests they write a visual-effects "ship shot" in which the ship races past the camera at incredible speeds. Everyone agrees that such an exciting shot would be good for the episode. But he is worried: "If it isn't from Starfleet, then how could this alien build such a great ship?"

Before they discuss that, they decide to re-explore the question of who the alien is. Where does he come from? Why does he want revenge? Is he after Seven? Maybe his race has been fighting the Borg. But if that is true, would Seven not know?
Joe Menosky: "Maybe it was a long time ago and she can't remember it. Maybe they were assimilated as Species Number Four."
Brannon Braga: "That's too early. Make it Species Twenty-One. Or maybe he's an El-Aurian, someone from Guinan's species."
Jeri Taylor: "No. We want him to have more interesting makeup than that."
Around this point, they begin to refer to the frail, old intelligent alien as "Yoda"!

By 6 p.m., when the meeting ends, the highlights from eight possible Act One scenes fill the left column of the beat board, most identifying the potential locale for the scene:

In the mess hall, Janeway sits working on the coded message;

In space, a shuttle brings Neelix back from a supply mission;

In the cargo bay Neelix reveals that he's brought a "guest" back with him;

In a corridor, Neelix says "Yoda" could help decrypt the message;

In astrophysics, Seven recognizes "Yoda" as Species Twenty-One.

Janeway, Paris, and "Yoda" decrypt the message, see that it has technical data as well as a set of coordinates;

Voyager races past the camera;

And finally:

Bridge: Everyone is there, including "Yoda." Huge exciting moment. They reach coordinates and see a "Silver Bullet" sitting in space. It's a Starfleet vessel!

Jeri Taylor: "That ship probably sprang full grown from Brannon's head. He had, for a long time, talked about a sleek, new, spiffy-looking ship that he wanted to weave into a story in some way."

Extract from the preliminary beat sheet. Only the Teaser would end up remaining the same.

The next day, 3rd February 1998, at 9.30 a.m. a smaller group reassembles in Jeri Taylor's office. Although these sessions are devoted to Voyager's final episode of the year, there is still work to be done on the episodes that lead up to it. Joe Menosky is writing final pages for [Living Witness]. Ken Biller is attending a production meeting for the season's penultimate episode [One] which he will direct. The two men promise to join in the session after lunch.

The remaining writers immediately tackle the tough questions about the "spiffy" ship: Who sent it? Or who built it? If not "Yoda" where did he get it?
Brannon Braga: "I'm afraid this isn't dramatic enough for the finale. Twenty-eight episodes and we get stumped now."
Jeri Taylor reassures him: "The Janeway and Seven story will be fresh and cover it."
Brannon Braga: "You're right." But he is still concerned.
Jeri Taylor: "Sometimes this process is like pushing though mud. When it's meant to be revealed, it will be revealed."
Two words have been written on the beat board so far this morning: "Act Two." Now Brannon Braga dictates to the intern, who dutifully adds to the board: "1. Hail ship. Scan ship. Mystery. 2. Space-Silver Bullet. 3. Bullet Bridge..."
Brannon Braga pauses. "I want the episode to stay alive! I don't want to take time to explore the ship. The viewers will want to see how Voyager's crew learns about the ship's functions, but I don't just want to show a boring instruction manual."
Jeri Taylor: "Perhaps Paris can tinker with the controls and inadvertently send it off."
Brannon Braga: "Building an engine room warp core is too expensive."
Lisa Klink: "But we only have one guest-star. So we'll save there."

Then discussion starts on bringing Seven into the story, about setting Seven and Janeway on an emotional collision course. No decision has been made about whether or not Seven goes with the away team to explore the ship. No decision has been made about whether the ship is alien or Starfleet.

After lunch, Ken Biller and Joe Menosky join the meeting and discussion continues but eventually silence overcomes the writers yet again.
Joe Menosky: "I think the 'ruse' trick is the problem. Why would he be trying to trick them? Let's just go for a straight story."
Ken Biller: "If we don't need to have a ruse, we can build on the conflict between Seven and Janeway. If Seven takes the other ship at the end of Act Three, maybe the crew can decide they have to save her in Act Four."
But would Seven be able to handle the ship without a crew? She does for a limited amount of time in [One] but, theoretically, this would be for much longer. So maybe Seven shouldn't be alone. Ken Biller: "If the bullet ship isn't big enough for the entire crew, they might draw lots to send a few home."
Joe Menosky agrees. He likes that idea better than the Seven versus Janeway one. "I just don't think the character conflict with Seven and Janeway works for this story."
Brannon Braga: "I do! Maybe we should just erase the whole board right now and throw it out."
Jeri Taylor: "And do what instead?"
Brannon Braga: "I want to take this back to my office and work out this story. I think it works and I think I can make it work. Gardner, type up what we've got there."
Gardner Goldsmith begins copying what he has written on the board. The second act has been broken into eleven scenes:

Hail ship. Scan ship. Mystery;

Space - Silver Bullet;

Bullet bridge: Chakotay, Torres, Paris find it empty;

Hear rumbling sounds in bullet corridor;

Find engine room;

Space, bullet submerges;

Voyager sees bullet is gone;

Bullet engine room trembling in some kind of slipstream;

Bullet is ripping through space;

C, T, P able to stop bullet engines, discover Voyager ten light-years away;

In Voyager briefing room, Janeway understands. Starfleet sent experimental ship. Yoda agrees. They should abandon Voyager to get home. Gung-ho crew starts packing...

Brannon Braga takes the notes and heads for his office, determined to make the episode viable, indeed better than viable - a solid show. "It was really the first time we'd hit a wall all season. We had some difficult episodes this year, but it was the first time we just totally short-circuited. It was the end of the season; everyone was tired. But we knew we had to do something special." His talk with Berman the day before had helped, but he still felt that they were floundering at the break session. "And I realized that there were too many voices in the room. I just needed to sort through what I thought the end of the season should be about."

In the wee hours of 4th February 1998, in the company of his own thoughts, Brannon Braga makes the breakthrough for an episode that serves as a payoff to the themes of the entire fourth season. "I wanted to do a story about Janeway and Seven that would somehow recap their relationship over the past year and take it a step further," he says. 'A storyline that showed there were consequences to Janeway's making a deal with the Borg, and to bringing in Seven of Nine. I wanted it to be a bitter-sweet retrospective of Season Four, and yet a good action story. We (he and Joe Menosky) did the beats over the phone. Our breakthrough was when we decided that Janeway and Seven shouldn't be on different ships fighting each other. That's artificial. We were straining to do something that never would be believable. They should be working together. After that, we just came up with ideas right and left."

The two men quickly decide which ideas from the beat session will remain. Vengeance remains the alien's motive. The ruse concept is fleshed out, and a scene is constructed where the alien springs a trap. Janeway and Seven get thrown into the brig together. Brannon Braga: "They would have to get close. Janeway would have to tweak Seven's implants-to touch her. We liked that image. We had the first couple acts down. But we couldn't figure out where to go from there. It was just figuring out how we would tell it. Most of the time you need all those people, but sometimes I just like to go off by myself and work."

On 5th February a new beat sheet is distributed to the show's department heads. At the top of the 9-page document is written:

                                SEASON 4 FINALE
                 by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga & Joe Menosky
                                     215198

Brannon Braga: "I thought he (Rick Berman) deserved story credit for his contribution." The final story credit on tv will read precisely as it does on this beat sheet, and with Brannon Braga and Joe Menosky sharing the teleplay credit.

The beat sheet has 50 scenes which tell a story in five Acts. The Teaser is very similar to the one on the preliminary beat sheet, but things begin to change after that. Act One now has 8 beats, and Act Two has 10. Acts Three, Four, and Five are now present, with 5, 4 and 22 scenes respectively. The beats of the first four Acts are written in a rather general way, occasionally resorting to phrases such as "Big scene as..." Act Five, however, is written very specifically, and its beats will be clearly recognizable in the actual script, soon to be titled [Hope and Fear].

At this stage in the proceedings, the final script still has to be worked out in detail.

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