EPISODES FEATURING CHEZ SANDRINE - illustrated episode excerpt

SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME - Page 1 - Seven's social lessons including practising 'small talk' on the holodeck

Sickbay. Seven: "Dating. You mean procreation." Doctor: "One step at a time. Dating is a human ritual wherein two people share a social activity, get to know each other. In time, it can lead to a romantic involvement and eventually, if all goes well, even marriage." Seven: "One step at a time." Doctor: "This could be an important stage in your social development. It's worth exploring." Seven: "The Captain would seem to agree. How shall I proceed?" Doctor: "You mean "we". I'll prepare a lesson plan. Meet me on Holodeck 2 in one hour. Most women start dating a little younger than you but better late than never."

Later on Holodeck 2..... The Doctor picks up the remote control for his holographic slideshow and heads over to where the pictures are to appear. Doctor: "I've prepared an introduction." He clicks the remote control and a picture of the Milky Way appears. "I call it 'Love Amid the Stars'. The Milky Way, home to thousands of humanoid species and countless courtship rituals." He displays a number of pictures illustrating different species and explains them.

"Of course, the species you're most likely to interact with is human, so without further ado," and clicks to the next picture, "Lesson One: First Contact. There are any number of ways humans can meet prospective mates. Here we see the chance encounter. Equally common is the formal introduction. When first contact is successful romance quickly ensues and, in the happiest of circumstances, procreation."

Next picture. "Here we see how fortress ovum is besieged by countless little warriors-" Seven interrupts, after having watched the holographic slideshow forbearingly: "Doctor, I am familiar with the physiological processes of sexuality." Doctor: "Oh."

He heads back over to the console. "Then let's skip ahead to the first of the practical exercises. Lesson Two: Encounter in a Public Place. Computer, initiate holoprogram Paris-3."

The Holodeck, empty, ........

......transforms as......

......the Chez Sandrine holoprogram is initiated. There is soft piano music, to which a romantically-engaged couple dance. There are holographic customers quietly talking or fetching drinks at the bar.

Seven: "Our location?" Doctor: "Chez Sandrine. It's on Earth, in a city called Marseilles." He takes her over to the bar, past the piano. "Ensign Paris whiled away a good portion of his Academy years here, no doubt to the detriment of his scholastic performance."

When they reach the bar, the Doctor tells her: "Now, pull up a bar stool," and they sit, "and pretend," handing her a PADD, "you've come here to meet the man of your dreams."

He turns to her, reading from his PADD: "'Hi, there.'" Seven, with flat intonation, simply reading her PADD: "'Hello.'" Doctor: "'Come here often?'"

Seven: "'This is my first time.'" Doctor: "'You must be new in town. How do you like the south of France?'" Seven, reading without inflexion or inserting punctuation into her speech: "It is very quaint exactly as I've always pictured it.'" Doctor: "'May I buy you a drink?'"

Seven, proffering back the PADD: "I don't require a liquid supplement at this time." Doctor, pushing the PADD back toward her: "You're not giving this a fair chance." Seven: "This exercise is pointless." Doctor: "It may seem pointless, but small talk is a vital dating skill. It helps to establish a rapport with your companion." Seven, scathingly: "Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation after all."

Doctor: "Alright, why don't you try your own approach on...."

The Doctor indicates a hologram, "that gentleman over there. Go ahead."

Seven: "Very well." For pointers she pulls up the Doctor's arm which is holding the PADD containing the conversation scenario."

She gets up and walks over to the hologram. Tonelessly: "Hello." Hologram, looking up and seeing the attractive young woman: "Hello." Seven: "May I buy you a drink?"

Hologram: "Er......" He looks quickly at his glass which is not empty. "Sure." He gets up and offers a hand: "Steven Price, and you are?" She shakes his hand firmly, too firmly as he rubs the underside of his hand afterwards. Seven: "Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct of-" She recollects herself. "You may call me Seven." Hologram: "Seven. That's an unusual name. Please, have a seat."

Reluctantly, she does so, making no disguise of the fact she thinks this is tiresom and does not wish to be there.

Paris wanders in and goes up to the bar: "Looks like Sandrine's is under new management. Who deleted my pool table?" Doctor: "Shh! School is in session." Paris: "More social lessons?" Doctor: "Watch. You might learn something."

Hologram: "Curious jewellery." Seven: "It's a Borg implant. I was a drone." Hologram: "Oh, so then it's a family heirloom." He laughs but she does not join in and his laughter falls flat so he stops.

Seven: "Borg do not have families. They have unimatrixes." Hologram: "Well, in that case, why don't you tell me about your," searching for the singular form of 'unimatrices', "unimatrix."

Doctor: "They're hitting it off, don't you think?" Paris: "He's a hologram." Doctor: "Your point?" Paris: "Well, you programmed him to interact with Seven. Real people don't respond the same way." Doctor: "Under my guidance, she'll be dating real people in no time." Paris: "You're teaching Seven how to date? Ha! Talk about the blind leading the blind." Doctor: "I've had my share of romantic encounters." Paris nods sceptically. "Mmm." Doctor: "Are you implying that Seven couldn't get a date?" Paris: "Are you kidding? Half the men on this ship would jump at the chance. But getting a date is one thing, keeping it from turning into a disaster is another." Doctor: "I have every confidence in her social skills." Paris: "Well, fine. Let's say you get her a date. This is the Holodeck. The cards are stacked in her favour. But if you want to really put her to the test you have to do it in the real world, where anything can happen." Doctor: "Mr Neelix is hosting a reception for the Kadi Ambassador on Thursday night. Not only will Seven arrive with a date, she will have him eating out of the palm of her hand." Paris: "Put your latinum where your mouth is. If Seven brings a date to the reception, and leaves with the same date, on good terms, without causing a diplomatic incident, I will work double shifts in Sickbay for the next month." Doctor: "And if she fails?" Paris: "I get a month off." Doctor: "It's a bet." They shake hands. The Doctor turns back to watch Seven, now more intent than ever on seeing signs of Seven's progress.

Hologram Price, as Seven abruptly stands up: "Where are you going?"

Seven: "Our small talk is terminated." She abruptly leaves holo-Price who is disappointed but does not protest.

She returns to the bar and tells the Doctor confidently: "I have mastered this exercise. We can proceed to the next."

Paris laughs and comments to the Doctor, a comment Seven does not of course fully understand: "If I were you, I'd start looking for somebody to fill in for me." The Doctor is not amused.

When Kim visits the Astrometrics Lab to collect data from the last two astrometric scans, he finds Seven has called up the crew manifest on the main viewscreen.
Seven explains: "The Doctor asked me to pick a suitable candidate."
Kim: "For what?"

Seven: "Lesson Ten: The First Date." Kim, surprised: "Your first date?" Seven: "I've narrowed the list to two crewmen, based on work performance and compatible interests." Kim: "I didn't know you had any interests." Seven: "Neither did I, but apparently they include astronomy, quantum mechanics and music." Kim, hinting that she should consider him: "I play the clarinet, you know." Seven, moving away: "You are not one of the candidates, Ensign." Kim recovers quickly from feeling crestfallen: "Oh." He joins her on the dais as she looks closely at the list. "Well, maybe I could help you pick Mr Right." Seven, calling up the crewmember's details: "Ensign Bronowski, assigned to the Airponics bay. His work record is flawless and he plays the accordion." Kim: "Badly, very badly. He's got no sense of humour." Seven rejects Bronowski and displays another's details: "Lieutenant Chapman, Structural Engineering." Kim: "Chapman's a nice guy." Seven: "We worked together on an away mission. He seemed efficient."

Later, Chapman is working in a Jefferies tube at a maintenance access hatch. He hears a sound. Chapman calls out: "Robertson, if that's you, I need an isolinear spanner." Seven, in the section below, looking up the ladder at Chapman: "It is not." Chapman is startled to hear her.

Chapman's foot accidentally nudges a heavy tool off the floor. It falls down the hatch and Seven catches it. Seven: "I apologise, Lieutenant. I didn't mean to startle you." Chapman moves and squats facing her: "No, my fault. You need something?" Seven: "Your presence is required er, rather, it is requested, tonight, 1900 hours, Holodeck 2." Chapman: "Another engineering simulation?"

Seven: "Dinner." Chapman is astonished: "Dinner???" Seven: "The consumption of nutritional biomatter." Chapman gives a short nervous laugh: "No, I know what dinner is. I just-" It sinks in: "Are you asking me to join you?" Seven: "Yes." He exhales with surprise. Impatiently: "State your response."

Chapman: "OK. Yes." Seven: "Please be punctual." Chapman, flattened, in a small voice: "I will, thanks." Seven briskly, handing him back the tool: "A dropped tool can be a workplace hazard. Be more careful next time." and she leaves departs, leaving Chapman wondering what he has let himself in for.