Episode 63 : BEFORE AND AFTER
Part B

Kes ends up "jumping" back to her ninth birthday party held in Voyager's Messhall. Gathered fellow crewmembers are singing: "For she's a jolly good fellow, for she's a jolly good fellow, for she's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny."

Neelix: "Happy ninth, Kes. Go ahead, make a wish. Well, what are you waiting for? Blow out the candles." Kes blows them all out in one go, to cheers, laughter and applause.

Neelix: "It's good to see that old lung is still working, Kessie."
Paris: "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

Neelix, setting about distributing the cake: "Well, you know, I haven't made one of these since, well since I became security officer." Tuvok: "Perhaps you would care to relinquish your commission and return to the scene of your former triumphs." Neelix: "You keep working on that sense of humour, Commander Vulcan. You'll get it one of these days."

Neelix hands a slice of cake to Kes: "Jibalian fudge, your favourite. Some of us ought to be watching our calories, but after all, it is a special occasion."

Kes, as Andrew comes up to her: "Andrew." Andrew: "I'm sorry I don't have a present for you, grandma. I've got an idea for something special I'm going to make, but I've been too busy with school work, I haven't had a chance to start it." Kes: "I think it'll be worth the wait. Come and talk to grandma for a minute, will you?" Andrew: "Sure." Kes: "I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want you to think very carefully before you answer them, alright?" Andrew: "I always think before I speak. You taught me that." Kes: "Where were you before you came to this party?" Andrew: "At my physics lesson in Engineering." Kes: "And then you came directly here?" Andrew: "No, I stopped at your quarters to get you. Don't you remember?"

The Doctor comes up to them. "Andrew, stop monopolising your grandmother's time. There are other people who'd like to wish her happy birthday, you know."
Andrew: "She's all yours, Doctor. Excuse me. That cake looks great." He goes and helps himself to some.
Doctor: "It's amazing to think that you weren't even a year old when we first met, not much older than Andrew."

"How could you possibly know about that??!!"

Kes: "Doctor, there's something wrong with me." Doctor: "What is it?" Kes: "Promise to hear me out and not assume I'm delusional." Doctor: "Why do you think I'd ever make such an assumption?" Kes: "Promise! Doctor: "Of course." Kes: "I've lost all but a few of my memories, and the memories I do have don't coincide with anyone else's." Doctor: "Can you be more specific?" Kes: "Well, I was in Sickbay, and you and a woman, my daughter, were arguing about prolonging my life, and then I suddenly appeared in my quarters and then I simply appeared here." Doctor: "As far as I know, none of that happened. Is it possible you were dreaming?" Kes: "No. I was awake, I'm sure of it. But nobody else remembers the things I do." Doctor: "I hate to say this, but it's possible these strange experiences you're having are related to the onset of the morilogium." Kes: "You talked about that. You wanted to put me in a bio-temporal chamber to stop my aging process." Doctor, amazed: "How could you possibly know about that??!!" Kes: "Because you told me." Doctor: "I only came up with the idea for the bio-temporal chamber this morning. I was going to tell you about it today, here at the party, as a sort of birthday surprise." Kes: "If that were true, then how could I already know about it." Doctor: "I don't know, but we'd better get you to Sickbay and find out."

In Sickbay. Doctor: "She appears to have lost more than 95% of her memory engrams." Paris: "Is that symptomatic of the morilogium?" Doctor: "I don't know. I have no basis for comparison - no other Ocampans on board." Paris: "Don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of this." Kes: "I do have memories, they just don't coincide with anyone else's. First Andrew gave me a belated birthday present, then he said he was working on the present, and now he just apologised for not starting it yet." Paris: "It's almost as if you're experiencing events in reverse."

Chakotay: "Maybe there's some kind of time paradox at work." Doctor: "There is another possibility. Given that Kes has knowledge of a treatment I have not yet devised, it's possible she's developed some sort of precognition." Kes: "Are you saying I can see into the future?" Paris: "Well you've demonstrated some pretty extraordinary mental powers over the years - telepathy, telekinesis." Doctor: "And precognition wouldn't be unprecedented. Some species, including the Yattho of the Beta Quadrant, have been known to predict future events with uncanny accuracy." Chakotay to the Doctor: "See if you can confirm this theory about precognition. In the meantime, Tom and I will be scanning for temporal anomalies."

Paris assures Kes: "We'll do everything we can to help you." Kes: "I'd like to do something to help myself." Chakotay: "What did you have in mind?" Kes, going to the computer console: "Well I seem to have lived quite a full life on this ship. Maybe if I have a look in my medical files, or check other record of my activities, I might be able to fill in some of the blanks." Doctor: "Well you may have lost your memories, but you certainly haven't lost your determination."

Kes shies away when Paris goes to touch her cheek

In their married quarters, Kes is looking through old personal records. Paris enters. "Hi." Kes: "Oh, hello." Paris: "How's it coming?" Kes: "I've had a busy life. It's hard to know where to start. How about you?" Paris: "Well, we've tried every kind of temporal scan Harry could think of, but we still haven't been able to find anything to explain what's been happening to you." He looks at the PADD and reminisces fondly. "Your initial physical exam. I remember when you came on board. I had a crush on you right from the beginning. I tried to hide it, but Neelix sensed it, and boy, was he ever jealous." Kes: "Neelix?" Paris: "You don't remember. You and he were involved for quite a while." Commenting on another record: "One of your prenatal exams. We listened to Linnis's heartbeat. That was quite a day." Kes: "What about this. It says I got some kind of radiation poisoning on stardate 50973." Paris: "That was the beginning of the Year of Hell." Kes: "Year of Hell?" Paris: "That's what some of us call it now. We were under virtually constant attack by a race called the Krenim. The ship almost didn't make it. The Doctor was offline for months, and we lost a lot of good people - Captain Janeway, Joe Carey, B'Elanna." Kes: "B'Elanna?" Paris: "I keep forgetting that you don't remember any of them. B'Elanna was someone who was very special to me. When she died, I felt like I wanted to die too, but you, you helped me through it. I'm sorry." Kes: "No, no, it's my fault. You haven't done anything wrong. It's just-" Paris: "You don't remember any of our life together." Trying to cope with the hurt, knowing she does not mean to hurt him: "Well, that's alright. I've got enough feelings for both of us." Kes: "Maybe the feelings I had for you will come back." Paris: "You were asking about the radiation poisoning. A lot of us were exposed. During the first Krenim attack, one of the chronoton torpedo fragments leaked radiation into the ship." Kes: "Chronoton torpedoes?" Paris: "They were able to penetrate our shields because their torpedoes were in a constant state of temporal flux. Wait a minute - think we may be onto something. We'd better go talk to the Doctor. Come on."

Kes and Paris walk along the corridor to Sickbay. Kes: "If I was infected with these chronoton particles, then there might be a connection to what's happening to me now." Paris: "Exactly." Kes: "Maybe we should try scanning for residual-" Suddenly she "jumps" again.

Kes suddenly finds herself holding a baby. The year is 2378. Paris, Kim and Linnis take a picture - it is the one she found by her bedside.

Kim: "Say cheese!" He takes the picture. In later parts of her life, which she experienced earlier, Kes saw this very picture. Linnis: "I think he's got your nose, mother." Kim to Paris: "So how does it feel to be a grandfather?" Paris ribs him back: "A lot better than having you for a son-in-law."

Kim's family: wife Linnis and infant son Andrew. (Kim's rank pips show him to be a Lieutenant.) Kes: "What's the date?" Paris: "The date?" Kes: "Yes, the stardate." Kim: "It's 56947. Why?" Kes to herself: "Over six months." Linnis: "Mother, what's going on?" Kes: "Tom, we have to talk to the Doctor. Come on." She leads him from the room.

Kes: "As far as I can tell I've jumped backwards a total of five times so far." Doctor: "Is there any discernable pattern to these jumps?" Kes: "No, they're apparently random. One time it seemed to span for a few weeks, and the last was half a year. Each time I arrive I seem to exist in temporal synch with the rest of you for a while, but before I can make anyone understand what's happening I find myself in am earlier time of my life. And just before it happens I seem to experience a sudden drop in body temperature." Doctor: "Hmm. Now this could explain a thing or two." Kes: "What is it?" Doctor: "I'm detecting high level chronoton radiation in your cells." Kes: "So I was right. There is a connection." Paris: "But Kes was inoculated along with the rest of the crew over three years ago." Doctor: "Yes. However, everyone was left with trace amounts of the radiation in their bodies. For some reason those residual chronotons have reactivated in Kes." Paris: "Why?" Kes: "The bio-temporal chamber." Doctor: "My thinking exactly." Paris: "Would you two mind explaining?" Doctor: "It's really quite obvious, Lieutenant. Your wife is travelling backward through time." Kes: "It's as though I came into existence at the moment of my own death, without any memories. I've been living my life backwards ever since, jumping progressively to earlier moments in my life, accumulating memories and experiences as I go. Your past has become my future."

Briefing room. Chakotay: "Doctor, any theory about what's causing this?" Doctor: "In approximately six months, I will apparently expose Kes to some type of bio-temporal field in a highly experimental, but nonetheless brilliant attempt, to stop her aging process." Tuvok: "And it's this attempt which leads to Kes's current predicament." Doctor: "What I will apparently fail to realise is that the bio-temporal field is going to reactivate the dormant chronoton particles in her cells, bringing Kes out of temporal synch with the rest of us." Chakotay: "Is there any way to stop Kes from continuing these jumps?" Doctor: "Yes. Purge her completely of the chronoton poisoning." Kim: "To do that we'd need to know the precise temporal variance of the specific torpedo which contaminated the ship." Tuvok: "Tactical sensors were not functioning at the time. There is no data regarding the torpedo in question." Paris: "Let me get one thing straight, Doc. Is it possible if this keeps happening to Kes that she might actually jump back into a time before she knew any of us?" Doctor: "Worse than that, Mr Paris: it's possible she may eventually jump back to a time before she even existed."

Chakotay: "Captain's log, stardate 55836.2. Kes has remained in temporal synch with us for two days now, but since we don't know when she may jump again, we can't afford to rest until we've found some way to help her."

Linnis: "I'm going to try running a hypothalamic scan. Maybe we can establish a pattern to the drops in your body temperature." Kes: "You're very good at this, aren't you." Linnis: "I had a very good teacher." Kes: "Doctor Van Gogh?" Linnis: "You." Kes: "I'm sorry, all this must be taking you away from your baby just now. You must be wanting to spend every second with him."

Linnis: "Actually I feel a little awkward around him sometimes. Harry's always singing to him and playing with him, but, well, I seem to be much more comfortable with a molecular scanner than I am with a diaper." Kes: "No, Linnis, I don't think it's-"

The Doctor enters in a hurry and interrupts. Doctor: "Kes, I may have found a way to prevent your next jump. I've erected a containment field that may keep you here. It's going to require your confinement in Sickbay." Linnis: "I'll keep working here."

Kes goes back to Linnis before she leaves: "Linnis, you must be a good mother. I happen to know that Andrew grows up to be a wonderful child."

Kes is inside the containment field in Sickbay, while the Doctor works at the computer console.

Paris enters. She is pleased to see him. She is (re-)developing feelings for him again. Kes: "Hello, Tom." Paris: "I thought maybe you could use some company." Kes: "I feel like I'm in a cage. Doctor Van Gogh says-" Paris: "Doctor Van Gogh? I thought you settled on Mozart." Doctor: "Evidently my interest in the great figures of art and culture will be an ongoing process." Paris: "Well, Vincent, how about letting me inside this thing?" Doctor: "I'm afraid that wouldn't be advisable." Paris: "Okay then, how about another installment of 'Tom and Kes: the Early Years'." Kes: "I'd enjoy that." Paris: "Well, there was our wedding reception. Harry was my best man." Laughing as he remembers: "He got so nervous when he stood up to give the toast that he spilt champagne all over my dress uniform." Kes, as Paris turns suddenly serious: "What is it?" Paris: "At the time, I thought that was the happiest day of my life, but every day just got better and better." Kes: "Oh, it means so much to have you here now." Linnis: "I think I may have found something." Doctor: "What is it." Linnis: "I was studying the effects of the chronotons on other crew members and Paris: "What's that?" Doctor: "Kes's temperature has dropped one point nine degrees. Linnis, monitor the containment field. I'm going to try to elevate her temperature. Her temperature's still dropping." Linnis: "We're losing containment." Doctor: "Increase the field amplitude." Paris: "Kes?" Linnis: "It's not working." Doctor: "We're losing her. Set field polarisation to maximum!" Desperately, as she starts to dematerialise, Kes holds up a hand. Paris holds up his own, as close to hers as the containment field allows. Paris shouts at the Doctor: "Do something!" She vanishes as she "jumps" again.