 | Janeway is at her desk, drinking tea.
She yawns as the door signal goes.  door signal
Janeway: "Come in." |
 | Chakotay enters and hands her a PADD.
Chakotay: "I've got those carbon-conversion readings from the supernova." Janeway: "Thank you." |  |
 | Janeway: "Is there something else?"
Chakotay: "Have you heard anything more from Q?" Janeway: "No. I wish I could believe he's gone for good." Chakotay: "I was wondering just what you meant when he said he made a 'personal request'." |
 | Janeway: "He wants to mate with me."
Chakotay: "I see." |
 | Janeway: "Obviously it's out of the question, and I suspect it's a smoke-screen. Knowing Q he's probably got some hidden agenda."
Chakotay: "Maybe." |
 | Janeway can tell that Chakotay's personal feelings for her are involved. She rests a hand on his arm sympathetically. "Chakotay-"
Chakotay: "I know I don't have any right to feel this way, but this bothers the hell out of me." |
 | Q, to Janeway: "I do believe you're jealous!" Both Janeway and Chakotay turn to find Q suddenly standing there. "Why didn't you tell me there was another man?"
Janeway: "Because there isn't. I'm just not interested in you." Chakotay, to Q: "Any more questions?" |
 |
 | Q: "I wonder, Kathy, what could anyone possibly see in this big oaf anyway. Is it the tattoo? Because mine's bigger!" |
 | Janeway: "Not big enough." |
 | She exits the room, leaving Q deflated. Chakotay decides not to say anything to Q and turns and follows her out. |
 | Janeway: "Captain's log, stardate 50384.2. Q's unannounced visits continue. Since I suspect he's up to something more than pursuing me, I've instructed the crew to take every opportunity to uncover his true motives." |
 | On the Holodeck, in the Paxau resort program, Tom Paris and Harry Kim relax.
Paris: "Who says crew performance reports have to be a chore?" Kim: "It sure beats working on the Bridge." Paris: "Now if we could just convince the captain to start holding morning briefings in here." Kim: "That'll be the day." |
 |
Suddenly, in a flash of white light, Q appears.
 | Q: "Nice program, Tommy." Making wordplay: "But it's just so much holo pleasure, isn't it?" |
 | Paris: "Alright, Q, we'll bite. What do you want?"
Q: "Guys, I just don't understand your captain. I've tried everything: filling the Bridge with roses, writing her Drabian love-sonnets, serenading her in the bath-" |
 | Paris: "Oh I'll bet she loved that." |
 | Q: "No matter what lengths I go to win her heart she rejects me, me. How, I ask you, is that possible?"
Kim: "Did it ever occur to you that she just doesn't like you?" Q: "No." |
 | Q: "No." |
 | Paris: "Look, Q, we've been told about your appearances on the Enterprise. We know your little visits usually turn out to be more than meet the eye. So save the broken-heart routine and tell us what you're really after." |
 | Q: "I just thought that the two of you might be able to give me some advice on how to break through Kathy's icy exterior. You know, man to man."
Paris: "My advice would be to give up before you embarrass yourself any more than you already have." To Kim: "Come on, Harry, we're not going to get a straight answer out of this guy." Paris and Kim leave Q who, drink in hand, turns his attention to Neelix at the bar. |
| Q: "You, bar rodent. I want another one of these fruity concoctions."
Neelix: "Not unless you tell me why you're bothering Captain Janeway." Q: "Captain Janeway. Now that's a subject I want to discuss. Tell me, what are a few of her favourite things? Chocolate truffles, stuffed animals, erotic art?" Neelix: "You can't bribe Captain Janeway!" Q: "Oh no, isn't that what you do?" Neelix: "What are you talking about?" Q: "I understand that you acquire things for her, create little amusing diversions, prepare little tasty treats." Painfully tweaking Neelix's whiskers: "Why else would she be so fond of your fur-lined face?" Neelix, seething: "You want to know what Captain Janeway likes about me? I'll tell you: I am respectful, loyal and most of all sincere. And those are qualities someone like you could never hope to possess." His words leave Q pondering. |
 | Janeway is in her Ready Room drinking tea when she hears what sounds like small whimpering noises. |
 | She goes to investigate. |
 | She discovers a puppy in a dog basket under her desk! |
 | Janeway: "This isn't going to work, Q."
She hands the puppy to Q who has appeared. |
 | Q: "How can you ignore that face?"
Janeway: "He's adorable. But this has got to stop." Q: "Please accept him as a small token of my affection." Janeway: "No." Q: "Suit yourself. May we talk? Just talk?" |  |
 | They sit on her sofa, Janeway taking care to sit some distance from him. |  |
 a |
 b |
 c |
 d |
 | Q: "Oh I know it's hard to believe but, well, I've been single for billions of years. It was fun at first, gallivanting around the galaxy, using my omnipotence to impress females of every species. But the fact of the matter is that it left me empty. I want someone to love me for myself. I guess what I'm saying is: I want a relationship. And I just thought: if you and I had a child it would give me that kind of stability and security that I've been missing." |
 | Janeway: "Sorry, Q, I'm not buying it." |
| Q: "Alright, let's see if you buy this. You're stuck out here, thousands of light-years from home, and you aren't getting ny younger, are you? All your hopes for home, hearth, a family, grow dimmer every day. Admit it, Kathryn, you're lonely too. And you wonder if you will ever have a child."
Janeway: "You're right. I would like to have a child someday, but not with you." Q: "Why not?" Janeway: "I'm just not the right kind of woman for you." |
 | Female Q: "Truer words were never spoken."
Both Janeway and Q are startled to find a female Q has suddenly appeared in the Ready Room. |
 | Female Q: "Never mind that. What are you doing with that dog? I'm not talking about the puppy."
Q stares at her, shocked. |
 | Q, to female Q: "Can't you see I'm busy here? Stop stalking me."
Female Q: "You should be back in the Continuum." Janeway: "Excuse me, but who are you exactly?" Q: "Kathryn Janeway, may I present Q." Female Q: "Not just any Q. His Q." Q: "We were involved for a while." Female Q: "About four billion years." To Q: "And now you desert me to pollute the Continuum with the DNA of this narrow little being." Q: "I never said it was exclusive." Female Q, to Janeway: "Stay away from him." Janeway: "Look, Miss Q, I'll save you a lot of trouble. I have zero interest in him." Q to the female Q: "Now look what you've done, and I was finally making progress." |
Chakotay signals Janeway via comms: "Bridge to Janeway. You'd better come in here, Captain."
Janeway: "On my way." To Q and Female Q: "I'd really appreciate it if you would take this domestic squabble off my ship."
as Janeway leaves, Q vanishes the dog and stares reproachfully at the female Q
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