Q2
Episode 165
Part C

 

Suddenly there is a Q-flash. The drone vanishes and Q is there.

Q2 protests to his father: "We were just getting to the good part!"

Q tells him: "If the Continuum's told you once, they've told you a thousand times: DON'T PROVOKE THE BORG! Now, I want you to give Aunt Kathy your word you won't do it again."

Janeway: "Oh, he won't do it again because he's leaving, NOW."

Q: "Excuse us, son. The grown-ups need a moment in private." There is a Q-flash and Q and Janeway are transported to the Captain's Ready Room.

Q: "He isn't so bad once you get to know him. He's just misunderstood."
Janeway: "He tried to kill my crew!"
Q: "No one was hurt. I repaired the damage to your ship. I even gave your pet Talaxian his vocal cords back. Everything's exactly as it was."
Janeway: "And how long do you think it will take your son to come up with another way to amuse himself? If you knew he was dangerous, why did you send him here?" A thought occurs to her: "Ah, is this another lesson for humanity?"
Q: "It's supposed to be a lesson for him. Think back to my last visit. I made you the offer of a lifetime."
Janeway, unimpressed: "Asking me to mate with you was hardly the offer of a lifetime."
Q: "If you hadn't turned me down I wouldn't have been forced to mate with that other Q."
Janeway, impatiently: "Oh, get to the point."

Q: "My point is: Junior was supposed to inspire peace and compassion, but instead of order he's brought chaos. He's been starting wars among innocent species, tampering with primordial gene pools, punching holes in the fabric of space-time." Janeway: "Where's his mother been during all this?" Q: "She's been so humiliated by his antics, she's disowned him. She's blamed me for everything. I've managed to undo most of the damage, but that wasn't good enough for the Continuum. They're hounding me to straighten the boy out. That's why I brought him here, in hopes that your vaunted Starfleet ideals would rub off on him. Obviously, that hasn't happened."

Janeway: "You can't just dump your child on someone and hope he learns something." Q: "I can't?" Janeway, firmly: "He needs to be parented." Q: "And how exactly am I supposed to do that? Q is the first child born in the Continuum, which makes me the first parent. I don't even know where to begin." Janeway: "You could start by spending time with him."

Q screws up his face at the horrid suggestion: "Ugh!"

Janeway: "Parenthood is more than just cleaning up your child's messes. You need to set an example. It's the only way he'll learn."

Q: "Of course. Once he begins to know me better, he'll idolise me. Then he'll do anything I say. Kathy," he gives a hugely unwanted kiss on the lips, "you're a genius!"

He disappears with a flash.

Bridge. Paris: "I've made a full sensor sweep. There's no sign of any more Borg vessels." Janeway: "The boy?" Chakotay: "He's gone." Janeway sighs with relief. "I am going to my quarters." To Chakotay: "You have the Bridge."

Janeway is relaxing in a bubble bath.

Suddenly there is a flash. To her horror, Q materialises in the bath with her.

Q: "I take it back. You're not a genius. I should've known better than to take the advice of a human." Janeway, outraged at the intrusion and impropriety: "Q!"

Q ignores her indignation. "Your brilliant plan didn't work. I smothered the boy with attention, spent every waking moment with him, but things only got worse." Janeway: "You've been gone for less than ten minutes!" Q: "On your temporal plane maybe, but in Q-time we've spent years together. Now he's embarrassed to be seen with me, and it's all your fault." Janeway: "My fault?" Q: "Tell me how you plan to rectify the situation." Janeway: "What happened after you left Voyager?" Q: "Q got away from me and rearranged to tectonic plates on Bozel Prime." Janeway: "Did you punish him?" Q: "Well, I tried to get him to apologise to all sixteen billion Bozelians but he got angry and stopped talking to me." Janeway: "So you gave in to him?" Q: "I told him he could shift as many continents as he liked as long as no one got hurt." Janeway waggles her finger at him. "You're not going to do your son any favours by indulging him. You need to make him understand that there are consequences to his actions."

Q: "Consequences?" He ponders this. "Hmmm." Then: "Kathy, I take it back. You are a genius!" He leans forward to kiss her. She tries to ward him off with her foot.

As it is the closest he is likely to get, he kisses the sole of her foot instead.

In Sickbay, Q is holding a petri dish. "I think that's long enough." He snaps his fingers and with a flash of light Q2 appears.

Q2, angrily: "What was that for!" Q: "What's wrong? You didn't enjoy life as an Oprelian amoeba?" Q2: "No, I was shapeless and slimy. The only thing to eat was paramecia." Q: "Sounds unpleasant. I'm sure you'll do whatever you can to avoid returning to that petri dish." Q2: "What are you talking about?"

Q: "The Continuum and I have come to an agreement about your future. Either you become an upstanding citizen of the cosmos, or you'll be sentenced to eternity as an amoeba. How's that for consequences?" Q2 can hardly believe it. He protests: "You'd turn your own son into a microscopic lifeform?"

Q: "You have one week to change your ways. I suggest you make the most of it."

Q2: "Fine, I'll see you in seven days." He snaps his fingers to scarper, but nothing happens.

Q chuckles. "We've temporarily relieved you of your powers, to ensure that you're on your best behaviour with the Captain."

Q2: "You're leaving me here?" It is Janeway's turn to protest. "I thought we agreed that you were going to take a more active role." Q: "I'd like to, Kathy, but we both know that you're a million times the parent I am." Janeway: "I'm not a parent." Q: "Maybe not in the biological sense, but you're certainly a mummy to this crew. Just look how quickly you house-broke that Borg drone." Janeway: "It's taken years for Seven to become an individual. You're asking me to change your son in one week?!"

Q: "I'm sure you'll think of something." Q2: "What if she doesn't?" Q: "Then it's single-cellular city for you, my boy." He tosses the petri dish to his son.

Q vanishes.

Q2 drops the petri dish and treads on it. "I'm getting off this ship." He stalks out of Sickbay.

Janeway taps her combadge. combadge "Janeway to security."