Q2
Episode 165
Part A

 

In the Captain's Ready Room, Janeway is testing Icheb on one of the Starfleet Academy courses. Icheb: "Though it was a blatant violation of the Prime Directive, Kirk saved the Pelosians from extinction, just as he had the Baezians and the Chenari many years earlier. Finally, in the year 2270, Kirk completed his historic five-year mission, and one of the greatest chapters in Starfleet history came to a close."

Janeway, listening to Icheb's presentation.

Janeway smiles, thinking Icheb has finished, and starts to get up.

But then Icheb continues: "A new chapter began when Kirk regained command of the Enterprise." She settles back on the sofa down again.

Janeway: "How many more chapters are there?" Icheb: "Thirty-four." Janeway: "This was supposed to be a twenty-minute presentation." Icheb: "I was trying to be thorough. I could shorten the report." Janeway: "That won't be necessary. You obviously know the subject matter."

She stands. "Congratulations, cadet." She announces: "You have just passed Early Starfleet History."

Icheb is pleased: "Thank you, Captain." He leaves.

A youth wearing Starfleet uniform says: "I would've failed him." She turns, startled, and sees the intruder who has just suddenly appeared. "Kirk may have been a lowly human, but at least he had pizzazz. That report made him sound about as exciting as a Vulcan funeral dirge."

Janeway taps her combadge. combadge "Janeway to security."

The youth chuckles. "Don't bother. I trapped your crew in a temporal loop. They keep experiencing the last thirty seconds over and over, almost as monotonous as drone boy's essay." Janeway: "Who are you?"

Q suddenly appears. "I know he's grown since you last saw him, Kathy, but don't tell me you can't see the family resemblance? This is my son, Q. I'm a little hurt you didn't recognise Junior. You are his godmother, after all."

Janeway: "The last time I saw him, he was an infant!" Q2: "Four years ago, in human time. You called me adorable." Janeway: "You remember?" Q2: "I may've looked like an infant, but I was still a Q." To his father: "Maybe you should've picked a better godparent." Q ponders aloud: "I wonder if it's too late to ask Jean-Luc?"

Janeway: "What do you want, Q?" Q: "Well, Junior's taking a little vacation from the Continuum. I recommended he spend it with you." Janeway: "Why?"

Q: "Oh, he's always been fascinated by the old man's stories about humanity. I thought it was time he had some firsthand experience."

Janeway: "I am flattered that you would entrust me with your first-born, but I really don't have time." Q: "He's as quiet as a Zizznian church-mouse. You'll forget he's even here."

He snaps his fingers and disappears in a flash of white light, a Q-flash.

Janeway: "Well, if you're going to stay, we'll need to lay down a few ground rules." Q2 laughs derisively. "I make my own rules." He snaps his fingers and vanishes in a flash of light.

Voyager's bridge. Tuvok reports the result of scans: "I'm not detecting either Q.” Janeway: "I want to be alerted if they resurface. Keep running scans."

Q2 suddenly appears.

Q2: "Scan, scan, scan - that's all you people ever do. I've been through every deck on this ship, and do you know what I've seen? Bipeds pushing buttons, bipeds replacing relays, bipeds running diagnostics. When are you going to do something interesting?"

Janeway: "Say hello to Q, everyone." Q2: "We could fly into fluidic space and fight Species 8472, or we could detonate a few Omega molecules. What do you say?" Janeway, firmly: "No."

Q2: "Twenty minutes observing humanity - I'm already bored. I guess I'm just going to have to amuse myself." Torres signals Janeway. comms. signal Via comms: "Torres to the Captain. I need you in Engineering."

Q2 has set up a disco in Main Engineering, complete with strobe lighting, beautiful alien dancing girls and loud music.

Q2 pursues Torres: "One dance, B'Elanna, that's all I ask, one dance."

Torres to Janeway when she enters accompanied by Tuvok and Chakotay: "If he doesn't stop his little light show, the warp core's going to breach." Q2: "Relax - it's a party."

Janeway, firmly: "This party is over. Get your guests off my ship."

Q2: "I like you, Aunt Kathy. You've got gumption. But what you don't have is unlimited control of space, matter and time, which means I give the orders around here." He snaps his fingers, and in a flash......

......the party-poopers find themselves in the corridor outside engineering.

Tuvok: "I could assemble a security team and attempt to take engineering by force." Chakotay: "We all know that wouldn't do any good." Torres: "Besides, I'll bet that's exactly the kind of reaction he's hoping for." Janeway: "He's doing everything he can to get under our skin." Tuvok: "If we deny him the satisfaction of a response, he may become bored and return to the Continuum."