INSIDE MAN
Episode 152
Part D

 

USS Voyager, cruising at impulse speed in the Delta Quadrant. Janeway records her log: "Captain's log, supplemental. With the help of the Barclay hologram, we have nearly completed the modifications to Voyager. As for Reg, he's becoming extremely popular with the crew."

In the Messhall, the Barclay hologram is providing first-rate entertainment for a large number of gathered crew, by performing an impression of Captain Janeway, complete with perfect vocal imitation.

Barclay hologram's mimicry: "Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that Lieutenant Paris had eaten all the scrambled eggs. It was pure unadulterated gluttony, gastronomic conduct unbecoming a Starfleet officer. He knows it's my favourite breakfast but he ate them anyway. We have an egg-mergency here, people. I want to know what you plan to do about it." Neelix, laughing: "Maybe I can replicate some more, Captain!" Barclay hologram in Janeway's voice: "Do it."

There is laughter and loud applause.

Barclay hologram: "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Torres to Paris: "He's not only programmed to get us home, he does impressions." Barclay, overhearing: "You see, it's always bothered Lieutenant Barclay that he was uncomfortable in large groups, so he designed to be the life of the party." Kim: "Hope he's not going to be too shy. He's going to have 150 new friends when we get back home."

Paris: "If we get home, Harry, if." Kim to the Barclay hologram: "Pardon my friend here. He believes we're destined to live out our days in the Delta Quadrant." The Barclay hologram does an impression of Tuvok: "Your pessimism is illogical. Perhaps a mind-meld would help to alleviate your concern."

He is interrupted by a comm. signal. comms. signal Doctor, via comms.: "Sickbay to Reg. Please report to Holodeck 2. Barclay hologram: "On my way." There is applause as he leaves to go to Sickbay.

The Barclay hologram enters Holodeck 2. holodeck doors He is still smiling from the time in the Messhall but when he looks into the Holodeck he suddenly stops smiling.

Doctor: "I was starting to think you'd forgotten our tee time."

The Doctor hands him a golf bag. "So what'll it be: Pebble Beach at sunset, the back nine at Gedi Prime?"

Barclay hologram: "Actually Doctor," and puts down the golf bag, "I'm afraid something's come up. I'm going to meet with Seven of Nine."

Doctor: "Oh really." Barclay hologram: "She's going to teach me to play kadiskot." Doctor: "Reg, when I agreed to lend you my emitter, I did it with the understanding that you needed it for official business." Barclay hologram: "What's your point?" Doctor: "My point is that Borg games aren't exactly crucial to your mission."

The Barclay hologram suddenly stops pretending to be friendly, and says menacingly: "And I suppose golf is?"

The Doctor is startled. "Reg." The Barclay hologram recovers his composure: "I'll tell you what: when we get back home, we'll play as much golf as you like. Until then, let's try to keep out of each other's hair, what d'you say?"

He turns and leaves the Holodeck, leaving the Doctor wondering.

Project Pathfinder Headquarters, Communications Center, Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco, North America, Earth.

Admiral Paris' office at the Pathfinder building, Earth. Admiral Paris: "State your name for the record."

Leosa: "Leosa. L, E, O, S, A." Admiral Paris: "Occupation?" Leosa: "Dabo girl."

Admiral Paris: "Dabo?"

Leosa: "It's a Ferengi game. I work aboard one of their casino ships." Barclay rises to his feet, distressed: "You, you told me you were a teacher!" Reluctantly he sits down again.

Admiral Paris: "Is this true?" Leosa: "Sometimes I'm a teacher, sometimes I'm a Bajoran vedek." She giggles meaningfully: "Whatever the customer wants."

Admiral Paris: "Lieutenant Barclay tells me that the two of you spent a significant amount of time together. Did he ever discuss his work at Pathfinder with you?" Leosa: "He wouldn't talk about anything else. It was always holograms this and cyclic pulsars that." Admiral Paris: "And who did you share that information with?" Leosa: "Nobody." Admiral Paris: "I have a theory. Would you like to hear it?"

Leosa: "Why not?" Admiral Paris: "I think that some of your Ferengi friends found a way to profit from Lieutenant Barclay's work. I think you were encouraged to get close to him, and when you had all the information you needed, you left him." Leosa: "I left Reg for one simple reason: he's boring."

At this Barclay rises and stumbles out of the room.

Leosa giggles. "Don't tell me you never noticed." Troi: "With the Admiral's permission, I would like a moment alone with Leosa." Admiral Paris: "I don't think therapy is what this woman needs, Counsellor." Troi: "Five minutes, Admiral." Admiral Paris agrees: "Five minutes." He and Harkins leave the room.

Troi smiles at Leosa.

Troi: "Did you know I'm a Betazoid? I'm empathic, which means I know when people are lying. Tell me, what's the longest you've ever been incarcerated?" Leosa: "You can't send me to prison, Counsellor. I didn't do anything wrong."

Troi: "Maybe not, but I can order you held for psychiatric observation, extended observation." Leosa: "I may not be a Betazoid, but I work a dabo table. And I know when somebody's bluffing."

Troi: "Try me."

Troi leaves the Admiral's office and enters the research lab. "You were correct, Admiral. The Ferengi did steal Reg's hologram, twice."

Troi: "This," handing over a PADD which contains details, "is the ship you need to look for."

Later the Ferengi ship is located and data on it displayed on the main viewscreen.

Leosa: "That's it, that's Nunk's ship." Harkins: "Nunk?" Leosa: "My employer." Harkins: "Scans indicate they've been in the vicinity of that star for the last 43 hours. Why?"

Leosa: "I don't know." Troi: "She's telling the truth, for once."

Admiral Paris: "The Ferengi wouldn't have stolen the hologram if they didn't think it was valuable. They're probably waiting to rendezvous with a buyer. Are there any Starfleet ships in that area?" Harkins: "The Carolina's .7 light-years away. At maximum warp it could reach them in 2 hours." Admiral Paris: "Open a channel." Harkins presses controls on the console: "Computer, open a secure channel to the Carolina." Admiral Paris: "Tell Captain Petersen to adjust his course immediately."

Barclay: "Was everything that happened between us a lie?" Leosa: "Not everything, just the parts where I expressed affection for you."

When she sees how hurt Barclay is by that, she says: "Oh. If it makes any difference, it wasn't personal. It was just business."

Barclay: "What exactly is a broken heart worth these days, hmm?" Leosa: "Ten per cent." Barclay: "Of what?" Leosa: "Profits from the nanoprobes." Barclay: "Nanoprobes. Borg nanoprobes???"

Leosa: "Yes. Gegis says they're worth 2 billion times their weight in latinum."

USS Voyager, in the Delta Quadrant.

Voyager's Sickbay. Janeway: "I don't think I quite understand the problem, Doctor." Doctor: "Are you aware that he's been doing impressions of you?" Janeway: "You should hear his Tuvok. It's eerie." Doctor: "It's disrespectful!" Janeway: "What do you want me to do, deactivate him?" Doctor: "Just long enough to run a diagnostic of his program. His recent behaviour may be indicative of a more serious problem." Janeway: "I haven't seen any evidence of that." Doctor: "Of course not. In front of you, he's all smiles. But I've seen him be rude, and careless - two traits the real Barclay never exhibited." Janeway: "I know the real Barclay's a friend of yours. And I'm sorry the holographic version hasn't lived up to your expectations, but that's hardly reason to deactivate him." Doctor: "Are the lives of 150 crewmen reason enough? Maybe you're right. Maybe I am over-reacting. But what if I'm right? We're less than a light-year away from the geodesic fold. Do you want to risk being led through it by a malfunctioning hologram?"

Janeway enters the Astrometrics Lab. standard doors Barclay hologram: "Captain, you saved us a com. call. Seven: "We're ready to bring the enhanced shielding online. Janeway: "Good work." To Seven: "I need a moment alone with Reg."

As Seven leaves the room, Janeway asks: "Your program's been running continuously for how many hours?" Barclay hologram: "56 hours, 11 minutes and 21 seconds."

Janeway: "I'd like to run a diagnostic of your matrix, make sure you haven't suffered any degradation over the last few days." Barclay hologram: "This isn't the er...Doctor's idea, is it?" Janeway: "He expressed some concern for your well-being, yes." Barclay hologram: "I bet he did." Janeway: "Believe me, Reg, the crew and I are grateful for everything you've done, but we need to take every precaution."

Barclay hologram: "I understand perfectly, and if the ship's doctor thinks I need a check-up, who am I to argue?"

Project Pathfinder Headquarters, Communications Center, Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco, North America, Earth.

Barclay is pondering things at a console.

Barclay: "I'm not hiding. I'm working on a way to foil the Ferengi's plan." Troi: "Reg, there's nothing left to foil. The Carolina will have them in custody within the hour." Barclay: "Leosa said the Ferengi were going to be selling Borg nanoprobes." Troi: "What does that have to do with Voyager?" Barclay: "They have a Borg crewman. Think about it: the Ferengi stole the original Barclay hologram a month ago. That gave them to reprogram it and then smuggle it to Voyager in the next transmission." Troi: "Reprogram it to do what?v Barclay: "Steal Seven of Nine's nanoprobes. For all we know, he could be dissecting her right now." Troi: "What would the Ferengi want with assimilation technology?" Barclay: "Nanoprobes aren't just for assimilating. They can re-animate necrotic tissue, slow down the aging process. They'd be priceless for the Ferengi." Troi: "Reg, even if the Ferengi did reprogram your hologram to steal the nanoprobes, how would they get their hands on them? Voyager's 30,000 light-years away." Barclay: "I haven't figured that part out yet. Maybe they discovered a wormhole or a subspace corridor." Troi: "Have you mentioned any of this to Commander Harkins?" Barclay: "Not yet. I can't. If I don't bring him hard evidence, he'll just think that I'm fantasising. For the time being, we need to keep this between us." She puts a hand on his in friendly fashion.